Why subscribe to the Default Parent Project?
No searching or endless scrolling for the critical thinking, candid reflections, helpful resources and above all the COMMUNITY we crave as the Default Parent. Articles, private podcasts and invitations to online circles, catch up, Q&As, workshops and culture clubs will go direct to your email inbox.
Wait on, what do you mean by “Default Parent”?
Default Parents are the ones whose own lives are intertwined with their child(ren)’s to such depth it is impossible to prise them apart.
They are the ones who, if out for lunch on a weekend, are asked who’s looking after the kids.
They are the ones who know if their children’s school fees, vaccinations and dental checks are up to date without having to check with their spouse ir a co-parent.
They are the ones who notice things are getting a bit tight, then source and swap kids’ clothes, hats, shoes, swimmers, car seats (etc etc) to bigger sizes.
They are the first name on the contact forms, the one most likely to be called if the kids get sick, the one assumed to be taking the next day off work.
They are the ones who cop the dirty looks if the toddler is being a toddler in the supermarket, the one quizzed on the baby’s feeding and sleep if two parents present to medical appointments, the one packing (or directing the packing of) the nappy bag and snacks.
They are the ones who prioritise their kids’ expenses, while delaying their own physio appointments/gym membership/haircut because money doesn’t grow on trees, and organising additional care for these things can be a pain in butt.
They are the ones who read the books, do the research and work on their own shit trying to break generational cycles, then spend their time trying to educate and support other caregivers to be better too.
They are their children’s biggest advocates and cheerleaders, yet also their safe space and the garbage bin for big feelings.
The Default Parent is usually a birth mother, but not always. They may work full time, sometimes, or not at all. They may be partnered, spend large chunks of time parenting solo, or be a single parent. Their children may live with them all the time or part of it. The definition doesn’t really matter - what matters is that they carry the load, one that’s easier carried when connected with others rather than feeling alone.
Cool. Who’s running this thing?
Anna is a doula, deep thinker, author, podcaster, mother, daughter, partner, friend, birth nerd, feeder, reader, listener, planner, snack bitch, leftie feminist and community organiser. She supports parents and parents-to-be through the continuum of fertility and pregnancy support, birth mapping, postpartum planning, birth debriefing, transitioning to motherhood, parenthood and expanded family life, and throughout the formative years of parenting.
Anna gets what it’s like be the Default Parent in a culture that doesn’t value our experience, well-being or unpaid labour. She is committed to treading lightly and caring for what is stolen Aboriginal land, and recognises not all Default Parents are cis/het/white/abled/straight-sized/neurotypical/women/birth parents. All Default Parents and the experiences are respected here.
To find out more about Anna and her work, you can read her book “Mama, You’re Not Broken: Unmasking the Unspoken Emotions of Modern Motherhood” or visit her website.
Hang out every month
The Default Parent Project is more than another newsletter to sit unread in your inbox. This is a community for those who carry the mental and emotional load of their families, who think thoughts, feel things and want to do so in connection with others rather than alone.
Every month Anna extends an invitation to the paid subscriber community to hang out together virtually. These sessions vary between Q&A-style sessions, relaxation and connection-focused circles, emotion-oriented parenting workshops, informal hangs and “culture club” (like book club, but you can talk about a podcast, movie, show or gig you recommend, or just listen and say nothing).
Will sessions be recorded?
Sometimes. If we’re doing skills-based workshops, yes. If we’re doing more private sharing stuff, we’ll keep it confidential and unrecorded.
How much is it?
$6/month (Australian), sub in and out any time. $60 for 12 months. Accessibility is important to Anna, and she wants you to feel you receive value from being a member even if you can’t join in live every single time.
Is there a chat group?
No. There will be opportunities to swap details with other community members on the live calls if you’re gelling with someone. This is a space to come together then take your friendships into the real world (even if that’s still from afar through a device) instead of just putting little love hearts on each others’ posts in a certain Meta-supervised group.
